When you’re a kid–and let’s face it, most of us still are–Halloween is the single greatest holiday known to mankind.* First off, it falls on the same day every year…not confusing like that tricky Thanksgiving-on-the-fourth-Thursday business.
Second, the costumes. Dress like a total goof and nobody can chide you for it, because they look utterly ridiculous as well.
Finally: the CANDY. Look, I’m not gonna beat around the bush here. If there is one thing we know for sure, it’s that kids love candy. In fact, they love it so much that they will literally eat it until it makes them sick. Then the next day when they start to feel better, what do they do? EAT MORE CANDY.
But I’m not judging. Let them have one day a year where they can run around their neighborhood like maniacs with a plastic pumpkin chock full of portion-controlled “fun-size” Snickers.
The only downer on Halloween occurs when your neighbor responds to your overeager “Trick-or-Treat” chorus with a bowl of apples.
For a moment, you think it’s a trick. You crane your neck around her, searching for the goods…maybe hoping to catch the familiar glint of a Twix wrapper.
But sadly, for this ill-informed person, on Halloween an apple is a treat. So you have accept the unwanted free fruit, and make a mental note to skip this house next year.
*This excludes holidays that carry religious connotations, like Hanukkah and Christmas. Sure, I know that wayyyy back in the day Halloween had vague Christian ties, but I mean this in the sense that Halloween is a holiday that children of ALL religions can celebrate.
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