#1 Black Jelly Beans

They are gross. These bitter, licorice flavored black chewy pellets might be the sorriest excuse for candy I have ever encountered. If you buy/receive a bag of assorted Jelly Beans, or even have the pleasure of perusing a community candy bowl, you’ll notice that inevitably (after the Very Cherry and Tutti Fruitti are long gone) the vile black licorice beans remain. Why? NOBODY WANTS THEM.

Not to mention the fact that they look as revolting as they taste…I think I am correct when I say that they bear an uncanny resemblance to animal droppings.

And if you do decide to take the plunge and eat one of these bad boys, you are likely to have tinted teeth and black chunks stuck in your gums all day. Yes, best leave these little beans in the trash. Or a word to the not-so-wise over there at Jelly Belly Corporation: stop making them, they’re lousy.

Note: While trying to think of someone that I knew that actually eats these little poison pills, I remembered that my grandfather does. But then, I also realized that he one time in a bet ate an entire jar of mayonnaise. So that doesn’t count.



Ginger Rage



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10 responses to “#1 Black Jelly Beans

  1. Hi, this is a comment.
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  2. danny

    i love black jelly beans, this is stupid

  3. Ev Dog

    My mom eats those things. They are nasty. She is also into Good and Plenty which are also gross, but at least they’re candy coated.

  4. Iris

    Thank you!!! I found this site thanks to 1000 Awesome Things. Black jelly beans are definitely disgusting! 🙂

  5. tyler holt

    i love black licorish and black jelly beans. how could they be a pet peeve to you. if you don’t like them don’t eat them and move on with your life.

  6. notimpressed

    If you like this blog, check out ihatespamcomments.wordpress.com!!

  7. Kat

    I love black jelly beans; they are one of my favourites. But then again, my other favourite jelly bean is buttered popcorn.

  8. VampKatt65

    As much as I detest black licorice, horehound candy is much worse, trust me. I have no words to describe what it tastes like, but just……don’t go there….

  9. Horehound IS terrible. I remember my Grandma offering it to me when I was very young. I thought, “Yay! Candy!”, but when I put it in my mouth….O what a cruel trick! Nasty stuff.

    But I DO kinda like black licorice. Go figure.

  10. Ashe

    I also like black licorice if it’s sweetened enough (ie. the kind that doesn’t taste like condensed NyQuil). That being said, black jelly bellies should NEVER be in the assorted mix. You get all these warm, delicious, fresh, fruity happy flavors like peach and grape jelly and coconut, and then one little jelly bean that’s BLACK DEATH flavored ruins it. It’s overpowering. It lingers in your mouth. And it ruins the flavor of all the other jellybeans that come after it.


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